That Hard Day

School teachers are big to kids. Whether they're liked or not, teachers are a big part of a kid's daily life and the way kids feel about their teachers can make a big difference in how they feel about themselves. And a lot of that translates directly into family and home life as well. That's why I pray so hard for good teachers for my kids - for teachers who will love my girls and provide a healthy classroom environment for them to learn a little bit more about themselves and life.

Leah's fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Christensen, was new to the school this year so we didn't know much about her when the year started. I didn't get to know her well myself, but I loved her anyway because Leah loved her.

I thought everything was going great until a few days ago when Leah came home devastated. I was prepared because Mrs. Christensen had sent a note home with the students, but I still didn't know how to comfort Leah very well. Mrs. Christensen had gathered her students together that day to let them know they would be getting a new teacher. She has cancer and she's too sick to continue to teach. Jared told me that the prognosis for people with her type of cancer isn't promising at all and my heart aches for her.

Today was Mrs. Christensen's last day. I walked into the school to be with Leah and because she wanted me to take a picture of her with her teacher on her last day. It was the saddest thing to stand out in the hall and watch the kids walk out of the room. Lots of them, especially the girls, were crying and most of the boys didn't seem to know what to do with their emotions.

I walked into the classroom, took the picture, and offered the best well wishes and thanks I had to give. I wished I had had something deeper or more meaningful because my words lacked the substance I wanted them to have. Sometimes words can't do the job our hearts want them to do and today was surely one of those days.

My heart absolutely broke when Leah sank into my arms the second we were in the hallway. She doesn't cry much, but when she does it is gut wrenching and awful. Today it was awful because I wanted to move mountains and give her teacher back to her. I wanted to heal her broken heart and put everything in order. But all I could do was watch this sweet, pure-hearted little kid feel the pain and confusion of a very adult situation. And I had to watch her hurt. I wrapped her up in my arms and held her close, but even a mother's protective wings couldn't fend off the sting today.

My heart is aching for Mrs. Christensen and for her family and for her situation. My heart is aching for my little girl and for the sparkle in her eyes that I can't see at the moment. And it sucks that my love can't make any of it better or take any of it away. Sometimes hearts break and can't really be fixed. Hearts are fragile and these two beautiful people are weighing heavy on mine tonight.