First Tear

The first day of school has always been one I've looked forward to...until today. Today I shed my first first-day-of-the-year tear. Not because I have a new kindergartner who is leaving the nest, but because I have a third grader who can't seem to see even a shred of her potential some days.

Academically, I have no worries - she'll do fine. I am convinced she'll do better once she feels comfortable socially. She doesn't know yet that anyone would be lucky and blessed to be her friend. She will discover more of her strong qualities in time, but for now she'll struggle a bit.

I don't expect that she'll come home at the end of today's school day having made a best friend, but I do hope the routine of the day calms her anxieties. Anxieties that brought on restless sleep and a jittery morning routine. While getting her hair curled, she confided in me that today is the worst day of her life.

She was the last one to enter her classroom today. She held onto me tight and said she'd rather stay home with Meg and me. I had to fight with myself to not give into her request - I wanted to bring her home with us! But thank heavens experience has been my teacher by awakening in me the realization that doing things that are hard and uncomfortable can lead to confidence and success. She'll be proud of herself this afternoon for having survived the day, and I'll be proud of her too. I'm proud of her already.

I'm hoping by this afternoon, this face...

will turn back into this face...

As for this one...

she forgot to even give me a hug before running off to line up.

I can't wait to get two big hugs in a couple hours from my favorite girls and hear all about the first day of school.