These things have to be done. They are a part of life. But sometimes rather than fitting these things into my life, they seem to become my life. Sometimes it takes that something big to remind me that I am more spirit than I am mortal body. Then proper perspective sets in, and the earthly things take as far a back seat as possible...like a fourteen-passenger van back seat, and nourishment for my spirit becomes my focus.
Tragedies, although unpleasant and difficult to deal with, cut through my mortal surface and settle deep within my spirit. When I have been cut to the core, then I remember that the potential of my spirit is far superior to the potential of my body. And that is when I'm grateful that I know that I'm here on this earth as a test...to see if I will allow my spirit to dominate my body. And that is when I remember that the cute clothes, fancy hairstyles, and big cars are just distractions.
When life is going well, I know it's only temporary. Even though I've heard it thousands of times, sometimes I still forget that there are no guarantees in this life.
Like when I made cupcakes this past weekend. Even though I was answering a lot of questions and the girls were engaging me in constant conversation while I was assembling the ingredients, I'm still fairly certain I followed the recipe correctly. But instead of delicious, perfectly formed cupcakes, this is what I got:
Even when we're trying our best, and do everything (well, most things maybe?) right, it doesn't mean our best efforts won't flop sometimes. It doesn't mean that life is going to carry on without a hitch.
I wish I could say that my neighbor's experience with her little boy has been a big enough wake-up call for me to have completely changed my life. But the truth is, since that horrific event eleven days ago and through all the ups and downs Sara has let me share with her through her blog, I've changed only a few degrees maybe. In the past eleven days I have lost my temper, I have passed judgments, I have skipped a couple days to kneel down and pray, I have disrespected some members of my family, and I haven't used my time as wisely as I know I should and could.
But regardless of how some of my habits could use polishing, my perspective is more clear. In the past eleven days, my priorities automatically rearranged themselves without a deliberate effort and I am looking at my children, my husband, and all of my relationships in a different light.
I'm glad I didn't have to have my children almost taken from me in order for me to soften and be grateful for the time I have with them. Today when Meg tugged on my arm and said "Pay" (translation: play) with a hopeful light in her eyes, it was easy to do puzzles for a while knowing that I could change the sheets on Leah's bed later. After all, who knows how many more days of her life she'll even want me to play with her. Who knows how much time we're even going to have together. Even if I'm following my best recipe for being a mom, there are no guarantees.
Who knows how much longer this smoothly paved section of road I am currently traveling is going to last. Even the most fine-tuned intellect cannot predict the next event that might challenge the strength of my spirit. The best thing I can do to prepare for future potholes and roadblocks on this road of mine is to nourish my spirit and to remember that relationships are way more important than a big pile of laundry and way more valuable than that new sofa I've been wanting.
2 comments:
seriously. someone asked what our biggest burdens/sins were, and among others, I have realized that mine is DISTRACTION. Many essentials seem to fall through the cracks because I am distracted by other things. For example, not taking time to read and think about my scriptures today so far because I have chosen to instead fold the clothes, get another snack, finally make my bed, organize the girls' hair bows, and check your friend's blog obsessively. I'm so happy that her baby Bronson seems to be doing so well. I'd better go tend to more important things right now, huh? thanks for the perspective.
thank you. i love your insight. i read her blog last week. cried. cried, and cried some more. i knelt down and said a prayer for her, her husband, the little baby, and her other kids too. i hope all is well for them.
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