I especially need a hole on weekends I've decided. Hubby and I don't seem to be very good at communicating our weekend expectations to each other. So last night went something like this:
J: I guess I'll go out and mow the lawn.
Me: (irritated) Then don't be surprised if we've eaten dinner before you're done.
J: Okay.
Silence.
J: Are you mad at me for mowing the lawn?
So of course I know the lawn needs to be mowed, and my preference is definitely for hubby to mow the lawn rather than have me sacrifice my delicate body for the task. But I forget that he has chores to do and in my mind before he gets home from work I'm thinking...
It's Friday night - the weekend! That means my awesome husband will be home to help share the load with the kids. The girls will be excited to see him; he will be excited to see them; I'm looking forward to a break.
Then I get hit with the yard work bombshell. I admit, things could be A LOT worse.
We got past the tension of the moment and I was relieved knowing we could settle into paradise for the remainder of the weekend.
Then this morning:
J: I guess I'll go outside and work for a while - (deeper voice...added emphasis) pull up some tree stumps (grunt...flex).
Me: (exasperated sigh...still in my pj's) Okay. That's fine. (Not really). Can I at least shower before you go out?
J: You seem to get mad at me for doing what a lot of women would like their husbands to do.
Good point, my mucho bueno burrito.
Later (after my shower):
J: (pleading...obnoxious) Can I please go outside to toil and slave over weeds and tree stumps now?
I hate it when he makes me laugh when I'm trying to be mad.
So I'm grateful I've got myself a macho man who doesn't require any nagging to get the yard work done. But I'd still like to have my very own little hole to crawl into so I can get out of my responsibilities sometimes.
Meg's got her own little way of getting out of undesirable situations like diaper changes, scoldings, etc...
Given the fact that I don't have a hole, perhaps I'll try her approach.
How did I do?
In that case...I suppose I'll get up, try to reclaim a shred of dignity, and get busy on the laundry.
5 comments:
HaHaHa! Rachelle, i love it! Especially the pictures. And the true expressions of your relationship...that we can all relate to.
I need to call you. This is the 3rd post I've read where instead of commenting (well, except this time), I've thought, "Oh, I'll just call her!" (but then I didn't . . . clearly). Anyway, LOVE your posts.
I can relate to what you're saying. And our poor husbands are in a no-win situation, because really, we want them to be in 2 places at the same time--doing the outdoor stuff AND doing fun stuff with us. If the outdoor stuff doesn't get done, we're frustrated. And if the fun stuff doesn't happen, we're frustrated. So if you DO have fun, the next time you spot the weeds (or tree stumps), you're like "WHY?" And if you DO get the outdoor stuff done, it's like "It's been so long since we've done anything fun!" I keep saying "we" so that it doesn't sound as bad when I say "I." I think sometimes we don't even know what we want!
I think our husbands need Calvin's duplicator machine. That's what I think.
Though I did something genius yesterday--we did fun stuff all day and then I helped with the weeds that evening . . . not just a hat rack, my friend!). :P
I miss you. A lot. Maybe I'll even call. :P
I am pretty sure I understand. I really like to make a "plan". I don't do very well when eric says, "i am going to wash the cars..." and I haven't known how the day/evening is going to go. I like the: "hey, here is what I am thinking,...you work inside, I will get some things done outside, and then we can take the kids to dinner or maybe take a walk together and come home and watch a movie". I don't like not making a plan. That is my deal. And yes, crawling in a hole or huddling into the fetal position is something I think about doing a lot, but then I add loud crying to that!
I think I figured out why I love your blog! When I read your honesty I hear myself talking. Thanks for taking the time to put my thoughts into words. I'll be better now, too.
I think it's the whole Mars/Venus thing. I find that communication (or mostly the lack thereof) is probably the root of 99% of our squabbles.
and hey, you gotta do what works as far as tantrums. Did you get the desired effect? or as Dr. Phil says: "how's that working for ya?"
let me know...
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