The Big One

We all have them. Big Ones. Moments that don't have words to describe what's being felt and experienced on the inside. Milestones we anticipate. The day when goals are finally achieved. Moments we would never be able to forget if we tried...but we'd never try.

For me, the anticipation of turning forty was one of my "big ones." I don't know why. All I know is that I have spent this past year mentally preparing for this milestone birthday of mine. For whatever reason, I felt it would be important to achieve something to usher in a new decade of life. I knew I wanted to accomplish something that would be a stretch...something that would require hard work and dedication. I thought about getting my hair cut (which I will be doing tomorrow by the way), but the thought of that left me still wanting more and expecting more from myself. I settled on the decision to do something for myself physically. And whatever I decided to do would be my birthday present to myself.

My friend Hayley planted the crazy, laughable idea of a half marathon in my head. I seriously considered it over the Christmas holidays and after the first of the year I was prepared to commit myself. Sometimes all it takes is someone planting the seed.

For the past three months, Hayley and I have seen more 5am's than I ever imagined I'd see in a lifetime. We have pushed our limits on every treadmill in the gym. We have mapped out routes through every safe neighborhood in the city. Every Saturday we have strapped on the water-filled Camelbacks and stuffed our pockets with Gu (Chocolate Outrage ONLY please) to keep hydrated and energized on our long runs. We have pushed and challenged each other mentally and physically. We have powered up every hill we could find with hamstrings and butts burning all the way. We have crosstrained in spinning, body pump and kickboxing classes. We have dealt with colds, allergies, sicknesses, kid & family issues and vacations. For the past three months, we have been totally committed to our goal and we didn't let each other or ourselves down.

This past Saturday was payday. Four days into my forties. April 4th. My birthday present to myself. We ran the whole way (with the exception of a five-minute break to wait in line at one of the few pink potties along the course). There were lots of runners. There were people running for Jesus, one of whom gave me a safety pin before the race to secure my number to my shirt. It was crowded and hard to get around people sometimes. There were lots of hills. Enthusiastic volunteers cheered us on. My knees hurt. There were horses, bluebonnets, and white fences in the country. There were interesting people wearing interesting shorts. We sweat a lot. My eyes stung from the salt dripping down my face. We got a few honks from supportive passers-by. A couple girls stopped at every mile marker to do boot camp stuff. Hayley and I saved our energy for running. I tried a Luna Chew and it was all right. We Gu'ed up and jelly beaned up and hydrated lots. I littered my cup once on accident when my bad toss missed the garbage can...it wasn't even close. Hayley thought I should go back and pick it up, but I didn't. There was a professional photographer who liked photographing us in our fuchsia matchy matchies. It was overcast and perfect weather for a little run.

Hayley and I talked a lot. We cheered the faster runners who passed us going the other direction after they looped around. We savored the experience and reminded ourselves that we were really doing it. We couldn't believe how quickly our few months of training had passed. We couldn't believe how far we had come in such a short time. We were aware of how we had been blessed in order to be there running that day.

Somewhere along the way, during those mornings that still felt like night and in the midst of those relentless speed runs, our workouts became more about a journey than an event. Our challenge to ourselves became more about confidence, acceptance, and growth than about running. Our friendship was magnified and I've wondered if both of us landed here in the great state of Texas for a while so our spirits could re-unite. Running was about so much more than running. But the act of running is what brought the awareness, the gratitude, and the commitment to persevere to the surface.

Hayley and I trained together, and we finished together. I don't know how I could have run up that last hill during that last mile without Hayley's effortless one-sided conversation at my side. I wouldn't have wanted to even try. It was a significant day. It was a significant experience.

Jared and Hayley's JD & little baby Max were at the finish line. Cowboy Jared stood eagerly watching for us so he could signal JD who was positioned with the camera for the perfect finish-line photo.



Besides our own dedication, these guys are the other reason we were able to cross that finish line. They have both spent the past three months getting kids up and ready in the mornings, holding down the fort every Saturday for a few hours, rubbing our tired and aching muscles, encouraging us, sharing our excitement and enthusiasm, and being proud of us for accomplishing something that was so big and important to us. It's possible that they've put a couple of their priorities on hold for a bit to support us with ours.

It's one of those experiences, one of those days I'd re-live again in a heartbeat. But as Hayley has reminded me, there is only ONE first and this was it.


13.1 was good to me. I love my birthday present to myself. It was a Big One.

Forty is looking pretty good about now.