It's Just Too Hard

Sometimes we have to do hard things. Sometimes we should do hard things. Sometimes we are asked to do hard things. Some things are REALLY hard to do. Some things that are really hard for me to do might include fasting, running, weight watchers (I gained 1.2 pounds last week), controlling clutter, visiting teaching, being patient, remembering names...

Not remembering people's names can be kind of embarrassing and awkward feeling. I would never forget someone's name on purpose. It just happens. Case in point, about eight years ago in the middle of the night I awoke and couldn't remember the name of the guy sleeping next to me. The only name that kept coming to me was Judy and my innards told me that didn't fit, so I figured the best thing to do was to nudge him and ask him his name. The next morning I felt uncomfortable, but things got better once we got everything out in the open. It went something like this:

Jared: Don't ever wake me up in the middle of the night to ask me my name again.

Me: Okay.

Me later: Laughing, laughing, laughing...really hard and loud. For a really long time.

It's not hard for me to remember his name anymore, even in the middle of the night. Mostly because right before going to sleep I quietly whisper his name to myself a few times...Jared, Jared, Ja-red. That way his name is the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep. If he happens to hear me doing this little exercise, then I have to think of something really quick so I usually just look at him with longing eyes and let him know I love to say his name. And he's such a sweetie because he believes me. Bless his heart.

Sometimes I wonder what kinds of things are hard for other people to do.

The other night I went to bed at 1am and noticed that Jared's alarm didn't look like it was set for morning. I thought about being a sweetheart by setting my alarm instead, but I figured I would enjoy the few minutes of extra sleep the next morning so much more than Jared would. Besides, Jared is the pro at getting the house running in the mornings and I pop up just in time to do hair, give everyone a kiss goodbye, and enthusiastically wave at the darlings as they back out of the garage.

So I nudged Jared who was apparently in a pretty deep slumber, but I didn't give up because I knew he'd appreciate the gentle reminder. After some persistence on my part, he finally roused himself enough to grunt a bit and I took that as my cue to say, "Honey, is your alarm set?" Apparently a grunting salutation isn't his cue to me to start a conversation because he didn't respond. After asking him a couple more times he rolled over to take a look and he let me know that no, his alarm was not set. So I rubbed his arm (because I know he loves that) and suggested that maybe it would be a good idea to set it. So he rolled over again, put his hands all over the clock, then plopped back on his pillow saying, "It's just too hard." Now at least I know what kinds of things are too hard for Jared. I think it will help our marriage a lot now that I have some insight into his weaknesses.