Growing Up

My eyes actually welled up with tears this morning as I sat in my minivan watching my six-year-old hold the door open to the school for every child within her sight. She was already late, my fault, not hers, but she wasn't letting go of that door until everyone near her had gone through it.

And all of this was after the sweetest morning ever. She dressed herself so cute. So typical Meg. A polka dot skirt, striped leggings, with her sparkly, colorful high-top looking boots. After I sent her into the bathroom to brush her hair, she came out with a jewel-studded, bow-topped headband to finish off her look.

She ran downstairs to get a loaf of bread out of the freezer because she wanted toast for breakfast. Then she turned on the Christmas tree lights and cozied up in front of the fire with a book that she read aloud to herself while she waited for me to get out of the shower.

I helped her tear a piece of bread off the frozen loaf and put it in the toaster while she brushed her teeth and grabbed her coat. I watched her lick the Nutella off the top of the toast in my rearview mirror while I drove her to school. When we pulled up to the curb of the school, she leaned forward and gave me two sweet squeezes with an "I love you" each time. Her eyes lit up when she saw her friend Avery walk past our car and she even said her friend's name out loud because she just couldn't help herself.

When she finally jumped out of the car, I didn't know I felt like crying yet. But when I saw her hold the door for all those kids who were obviously older than she was and I thought about how my girl is filled to the brim with sweetness, the tears just happened.

She's growing up and I love what I see. I see a person who knows how to love and who knows how to be a friend. I see a little girl who gets consumed sometimes by the selfish drive that exists in all of us, but I also see the love and the sweetness in her push that away. She's only six and she's already learning to think of others. Sure, she pushes plenty of buttons here at home but that's because our little caboose is trying hard to find her place among a family of older siblings and way older parents. But she does plenty to bring joy to this little family of ours and I can't imagine what life would be like for us had I not listened to Jared's gentle nudgings to try just one more time to have one last baby.

I can't imagine my life without any of my three girls. As I drove home reflecting on the things I had seen in Meg this morning, I thought of Brita and how she has gotten herself up before 6:30 two mornings in a row so she could go to intervention at school to get help in a couple of her classes. She didn't do it because Jared or I got on her case and insisted that she go. She did it all on her own because she is responsible and she has a drive to succeed and work hard. Stuff like that hits me deep and makes this momma so proud.

Then I thought of the ways that Leah tickles me as well. She is a total night owl and she often stays up until close to midnight. It always breaks my heart to have to wake her up in the mornings, but regardless of how tired she is or how late she might have stayed up, she never barks or complains. She just squints her eyes tight as she rubs them and stretches her body and then she sits up and just gets herself out of bed and ready. This getting herself ready for the day stuff is a huge deal to me. Leah has always been on her own [slow] schedule, but this year she has really stepped up to the plate by getting herself to the bus by 7:30 each morning. This morning before she left, she reminded me that she has play practice tonight (which I know I would have forgotten about without the reminder) and she knocked on the door while I was in the shower to tell me she was leaving.

It's a very satisfying and validating thing as a mom to see my girls take responsibility to get themselves out the door each morning. There were days in the past where I wondered if my future self would need to personally go to my girl's college apartments to keep them on schedule and make sure they left to be on time to class. I could just see myself..."Now go brush your teeth and run a brush through your hair. Do you have your backpack? Do you have your homework?" But with a snap of the fingers they've taken so much responsibility upon themselves.

For some reason, I still like to ask them if they need to use the bathroom before we go anywhere, and that drives them crazy! But I like that it annoys them because it tells me they are responsible because they are choosing to be, they're not just going through the motions with mom prodding them along. I don't really know how it happened, but I know it makes me proud and gives me yet another reason to adore and love these sweet girls of mine to pieces.